So...today I got home from bible study and had messages from the doc's office saying they had times for the P.E.T scan and bone marrow biopsy I need to have done. She called twice. Twice. In the last message she said she really needed to hear back from me as these were the only dates open for over a week. She said the dr didn't want to wait, so I needed to call her back asap.
Ok, first of all. I really wish nurses or doctors wouldn't say certain things. Such as....'the dr didn't want to wait' to get these tests. Ahem. Do they not know that those things can set people off into another flurry of worry? ( I'm a poet and didn't know it ) Anyway...so now I'm like super worried. Not that I haven't been worried sick since I was diagnosed. Gah.
Lemme back up. So, after I met with the oncologist I had to go to the financial counselor since we don't have insurance. Luckily, the dr deemed the tests emergent, so I won't have to pay any money upfront. Which is good, because I have none to give them. Now let's hope I get approved and don't have to pay for all of these outrageously expensive procedures. I think if you get cancer, automatically you should get help from the state or something. I don't know. It just pisses me off that people with cancer not only have to worry about their disease, but if they can afford it! Seriously.
Oh, talked to the social worker too..she is going to send me out a ton of paperwork/info on resources. The American Cancer society called today, but I wasn't home..then I napped. I'll call tomorrow and see what help they offer. She says there are a lot of resources, which is good to know.
I also came home with a file box kind of thing, to help keep track of appointments, tests/procedures, medications, doctor's/nurse's phone numbers etc. That will help, I think. I certainly am going to have a lot to keep track of.
So, PET scan first thing, then bone marrow biopsy. I can't lie, I'm scared. I didn't sign up for any of this. Yet here I am going through it. It's unfair. Last couple of days have been really rough. Walking into the dr's office, seeing cancer patients. Hearing him talk about my cancer, and what the next steps. This is real folks. Really effen real. ( I so wanted to type the F word, but I'll refrain, you get the drift. ) I hope I'm strong enough for all of this. I'm not feeling very strong today.
