I'm scared..like sick to my stomach scared. Going to see an oncologist ( the big C ) Dr, makes this all so effen real. You know, this is NOT fair. At all, and I'm MAD about it. Mad at God, mad at the doctors, mad at everyone. I'm really mad at the people who I thought would support me, but aren't. I should have known better, really. Support really isn't their thing. If it's not about them, then forget about it. I'm just plain mad, damnit.
I don't know what to expect either. Which scares me as well. Not being in control, isn't my cuppa tea. I have to have control. But, I need to let God be in control. Man is that hard. But, I'm trying.
A friend from church is going with me tomorrow, so I'm a bit relieved. Or, a lot relieved.
Ok, I'm done rambling, if none of this makes sense, just ignore it, I won't be offended
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